Love china

Love china

Sunday, February 21, 2016

The Unavoidable Pity

I AM THE CHILD
(Author Unknown)

I am the child who cannot talk.
You often pity me, I see it in your eyes.
You wonder how much I am aware of — I see that as well.
I am aware of much, whether you are happy or sad or fearful,
patient or impatient, full of love and desire,
or if you are just doing your duty by me.
I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater,
for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.
You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times.
I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions,
responses over my well-being, sharing my needs,
or comments about the world about me.

I do not give you rewards as defined by the world’s standards — great strides in
development that you can credit yourself;
I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable — I give you instead opportunities.
Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine;
the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities;
the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible.
I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder,
seeking answers to your many questions with no answers.
I am the child who cannot talk.

I am the child who cannot walk.
The world seems to pass me by.
You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and play like other children.
There is much you take for granted.
I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I’ve dropped my fork again.
I am dependent on you in these ways.
My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune,
your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself.
Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them.
I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright,
to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent.
I give you awareness.
I am the child who cannot walk.

I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I don’t learn easily, if you judge me by the world’s measuring stick,
what I do know is infinite joy in simple things.
I am not burdened as you are with the strife’s and conflicts of a more complicated life.
My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child,
to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love.
I give you the gift of simplicity.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.

I am the disabled child.
I am your teacher. If you allow me,
I will teach you what is really important in life.
I will give you and teach you unconditional love.I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you.
I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted.
I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams.
I teach you giving.
Most of all I teach you hope and faith.
I am the disabled child.



When I begin thinking about the future, I can't help but think of how massively different both my and Sunshine's lives will be. He will be here, getting PT, OT & SLP services multiple times per week (I'm assuming), an intensive medical team to cover any needs he may have (known and unknown) and a surgical team to help determine what would best fit his needs.

One of the BIGGEST things that I think I will have to get used to at first is likely going to be the constant pity and stares of other people. I have always had a difficult time with the pity and staring shown towards children and adults with disabilities - they don't want/need your pity, they want to be treated exactly like you would treat anyone else.  Just because someone looks different or does something in a way different than you does not make them unworthy, unloveable or any less of a person. I just hope that I can become the type of mother who is able to educate those around us to remind others to not have pity or stare, but ask questions and become educated about your neighbors and the needs of others around you. 




I cannot wait for him to be here, to be able to love on him, care for him and play with him. To hear his sweet giggle, smile with him and read him books are things that this heart cannot wait for. 

Prayer Requests:
- Things continue moving forward
- Sunshine continues to thrive and is wrapped in love.



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