Love china

Love china

Sunday, February 28, 2016

The Whirlwind

This has been a very hard week in the adoption circles that I have been involved in. I would greatly appreciate your prayers for the following families:

The first family adopted a sweet baby girl named Annabel from the same foster facility that Sunshine is at. She has been home for ~ 6 months. On Friday night, they were eating dinner when Annabel began choking on some food. They were unable to dislodge it and called 911. Paramedics were also unable to dislodge the food and she was rushed to the hospital. She was later Care-flighted to Children's Hospital in Dallas where she was placed on life support. Doctors there have provided her sweet family with a 10-15% change of survival. Today tests were run to detect brain death and no activity was detected. They will redo this test at midnight tonight and the family has decided if she is has no activity again then she will be placed in her Dad's arms and the machines will be removed. Please pray for her and the family.

The second family that needs your prayerful support is a family that is currently in Bulgaria adoption 2 older brothers, one who is blind. While in country, the father unexpectedly passed away in their apartment. This is unimaginable for a family who is going over to bring back 2 precious children. They now have to deal with the grief of loosing their Dad, getting him back to the States, funeral expenses, etc. A friend of theirs has started a YouCaring site, if you feel led to donate, here is their site.

There is also another family, who was getting ready to get the last of their paperwork in when they were notified that the precious child that they were going to adopt had passed away ... I cannot imagine the heart break!

As for my adoption journey to get to Sunshine, this past week has been busy and productive.

I went to see my physician to get paperwork signed off on, the last "major" piece of paperwork that needs to be completed to get all this initial paperwork completed.  I had to go to a separate bloodwork lab to get extra testing for the things that China was asking for specifically, but luckily I was able to find a place the same day and get in - the best part was that the results were back the next day.

This past Thursday and Friday I was in Ft. Worth, Texas, to participate in Pathways training through Gladney. It was all about behavior, parenting styles and sensory needs that your child may be coming home with and the underlying reasons/causes for these outbursts. When we all got there we were assigned to tables. I was placed at a table with a lady who is adopting a child from China who is completely blind and will be traveling by herself (her kiddos will be staying home with Dad) and another couple who is adopting a second child from China. This couple has been to the foster facility that Sunshine is at and they have held Sunshine, loved on him, talked to him ... I was SO thankful that God placed us at the same table!!

Thank-you, everyone, for purchasing t-shirts!! I cannot wait for them to come in!

If anyone is still interested in the ApParent jewelry, I will have it for 1 more week. Let me know if you want anything! :)

Praises: SO thankful I was able to meet someone who has actually met, held, talked to, seen Sunshine!! Thankful God placed us at the same table at the same training! 

Prayer requests:
- Fervent prayers for all the families mentioned above
- That the home study be done soon
- That fundraising efforts continue to run smoothly

Sunday, February 21, 2016

The Unavoidable Pity

(Author Unknown)

I am the child who cannot talk.
You often pity me, I see it in your eyes.
You wonder how much I am aware of — I see that as well.
I am aware of much, whether you are happy or sad or fearful,
patient or impatient, full of love and desire,
or if you are just doing your duty by me.
I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater,
for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.
You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times.
I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions,
responses over my well-being, sharing my needs,
or comments about the world about me.

I do not give you rewards as defined by the world’s standards — great strides in
development that you can credit yourself;
I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable — I give you instead opportunities.
Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine;
the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities;
the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible.
I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder,
seeking answers to your many questions with no answers.
I am the child who cannot talk.

I am the child who cannot walk.
The world seems to pass me by.
You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and play like other children.
There is much you take for granted.
I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I’ve dropped my fork again.
I am dependent on you in these ways.
My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune,
your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself.
Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them.
I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright,
to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent.
I give you awareness.
I am the child who cannot walk.

I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I don’t learn easily, if you judge me by the world’s measuring stick,
what I do know is infinite joy in simple things.
I am not burdened as you are with the strife’s and conflicts of a more complicated life.
My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child,
to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love.
I give you the gift of simplicity.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.

I am the disabled child.
I am your teacher. If you allow me,
I will teach you what is really important in life.
I will give you and teach you unconditional love.I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you.
I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted.
I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams.
I teach you giving.
Most of all I teach you hope and faith.
I am the disabled child.

When I begin thinking about the future, I can't help but think of how massively different both my and Sunshine's lives will be. He will be here, getting PT, OT & SLP services multiple times per week (I'm assuming), an intensive medical team to cover any needs he may have (known and unknown) and a surgical team to help determine what would best fit his needs.

One of the BIGGEST things that I think I will have to get used to at first is likely going to be the constant pity and stares of other people. I have always had a difficult time with the pity and staring shown towards children and adults with disabilities - they don't want/need your pity, they want to be treated exactly like you would treat anyone else.  Just because someone looks different or does something in a way different than you does not make them unworthy, unloveable or any less of a person. I just hope that I can become the type of mother who is able to educate those around us to remind others to not have pity or stare, but ask questions and become educated about your neighbors and the needs of others around you. 

I cannot wait for him to be here, to be able to love on him, care for him and play with him. To hear his sweet giggle, smile with him and read him books are things that this heart cannot wait for. 

Prayer Requests:
- Things continue moving forward
- Sunshine continues to thrive and is wrapped in love.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Prayers for Sunshine

A Prayer for My Child
May you be safe and sleep soundly through the night,
May you be safe as you wake to the morning light.
May you feel our love from far away,
May it comfort and protect you throughout each day.

We will pray for you, our little one,
Until our time of waiting is done.
We will pray that the Lord keeps you safe from harm,
Until the child of our hearts becomes the child in our arms.


Thursday, February 18, 2016

Faith Like A Child

Dear restless heart, be still; don't fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know.

Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God's own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.

Dear restless heart, be brave; don't moan and sorrow so,
He hath a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.

Dear restless heart, repose upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.

Dear restless heart, be still! Don't struggle to be free;
God's life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.
--Edith Willis Linn

This week has been an absolute emotional rollercoaster ... since last Thursday I have been questioning if this entire adoption process was going to fall apart in front of my eyes. My financials were being looked over, everything from what I owe on my house, car & student loans to what my house & car are worth, how much is currently in my bank account and how much my average bills are per month. Adoption is definitely an "invasion of privacy" to say the least. 

God moved mountains today!!! The adoption agency was able to speak to the CCCWA and ask in general terms if someone was trying to adopt a child with multiple needs (who would end up costing China a lot of money to care fore throughout the years)  and had my financial outlook, would they be allowed to continue on with an adoption. CCCWA said that they would be looking at the entire picture - not just the financial statements. PTL!!! This is DEFINITELY a positive thing!! The good thing about the Chinese culture is that typically there is no "beating around the bush" when it comes to answering tough questions ... if it was going to be a likely 'no' answer, then you would be told so. 

So, what is going to happen now?? The adoption agency wants to start pushing everything through ASAP ... getting things rolling as QUICKLY as possible - pushing to get everything done and on its way to China in the next 3-4 months ... 3-4 months!!!! This means .. MASSIVE fundraising needs to happen!  

I am still selling the ApParent Bracelets, Necklaces & Earrings - but they will be returned in the next couple of weeks. I would MUCH prefer to sell these to give money to families in need in Haiti and raise some money for the adoption than have to send jewelry back ... so please consider purchasing these for gifts for your friends, family, etc.  email me @: with your orders 

The T-shirt Fundraiser is still going, but we MUST sell at least 11 shirts by February 27th or they will not be printed.  If you would like one of the very first Worthy of Much Love shirts, get your orders in today!!! 

If you would rather, and can, just donate to the cause - please feel free to do so in one of the following 3 ways:

Pure Charity provides donors a way to ensure that funds will be utilized directly for the adoption. These funds are held by Pure Charity until the adoption agency requests them, they are then sent directly to the adoption agency. Also, donors are able to get a tax credit since Pure Charity is a 501(c) non-profit.

YouCaring allows CrowdFunding but the funds are sent directly to the savings account set up for this adoption specifically. These funds will help cover adoption costs, in-country expenses, flights and (if there is excess funds) surgical costs that Sunshine will need once home. 

And, as always, you can donate directly into the adoption savings account by donating to the PayPal account: PayPal.Me/worthyofmuchlove 

- THIS ADOPTION IS GOING ON!!!! Thank goodness!! 
- So many people have been praying for this process to continue and for that I cannot be thankful enough!! 

Prayer Request: 
- For Sunshine to continue to thrive, be loved, happy and healthy
- That this process will continue to move forward with as few "hiccups" as possible
- That I will be able to remain calm, level headed and with minimal anxiety as the process rolls forward

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Ride the Roller Coaster

This past week has been a roller coaster ride for sure. 

I worked hard to get all of the paperwork done, notarized, scanned, copied and mailed. A doctor's appointment was scheduled for 2 weeks from now to get all of that taken care of. That should be the last piece needing to be taken care of before they can get the home study scheduled.

I was able to get the letter edited requesting to be matched with Sunshine early. I also learned his Chinese name and exact home orphanage (and city!). It was definitely the highlight of the week! This letter was signed, scanned and the original will be making it's way to NY early this week.

The downhill slide of the rollercoaster ride for this week was filling out the last of the application paperwork and having to include all of my student loan debt - which I didn't think needed to be included. This vastly changes my networth ... and may jeopardize being able to adopt at all .... and I really have no idea what this does to the entire process. I have to wait until Tuesday to find out. Yes, frustrating ... but if it is going to mean that I can no longer proceed, then I will have to switch to a different adoption agency - something I really don't want to do.

On another up-side, I went to volunteer at 99 Balloon's rEcess this afternoon and was talking about the adoption and there just happened to be an adoption information class starting right after rEcess ended at Fellowship, so OF COURSE I took the opportunity to go. I met some great people, including a family who has been desperately waiting to bring their little boy home for multiple years from Africa. He is caught in government bureaucracy ... such craziness and hard waiting for a family that just longs for their child to be home! I also found out about an adoption support group and I can't wait to join!!

Please, please, please share this blog and all other social media sites!!

Add me as a friend on Facebook
Follow on Twitter
Follow on Instagram

I am so grateful I was able to meet new people and find an adoption support group. I am also super thankful to the Nashville crew, Matthew and Kasey, for sending just a little over $500!!! Also for a dear family member in West Virginia for a surprise $100.

 Prayer Requests
1. Bureaucracy resolves and the little one in Africa is able to come home.
2. Sunshine is happy and healthy
3. I'm able to continue on with the same adoption agency
4. Funds are received to cover all fees

Current Fundraisers:
Must have at least 11 ordered in the next 2 weeks or the shirts will not be printed and your money will be refunded.

email me at with order
Earrings: $8
Bracelets: $10
Beaded Necklaces: $14
Metal Necklaces: $15
Shipping 2 items or less: $3 (+$1 for each item after that)

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Onward and Upward

WOW .. these last 2 days have been a BUSY!! I happened to have a 2 hour break during my work day yesterday and was able to hop over to the bank to get several forms notarized for the adoption agency and get to the post office to send out some of the fundraiser jewelry. Today I was able to get multiple things mailed to the adoption agency! SUPER exciting!!

If anyone is wanting any of the ApParent jewelry, be sure to get your orders in ASAP ... it won't be here much longer!!

Also, a new fundraiser has started ..... t-shirts!! "Love You to China and Back"

I have been able to get a lot of the paperwork filled out and have been able to get my medical appointment scheduled for the end of this month (it almost had to be scheduled for the end of next month, so I was SUPER happy to be able to move it up and entire month!!).

I have gotten most of my original files sent out to New York - meaning my file is getting started so that my home study can be scheduled soon. Everything seems to be moving a little more quickly than I expected ... which is GREAT, but has one tiny drawback ... fees are due quicker.

THIS MEANS: I have a $4000 combination fee to pay for both programming fees and the home study. SO ... everyone needs to buy a shirt and donate to the YouCaring page! (

I have been pushing through all of this paperwork - taking one page at a time, getting items notarized, appointments scheduled in order to get letters written, etc. I will be the first to admit that this process has not been very easy. I would venture to guess that typically when a couple is going through this process, one person would be able to spend more time taking care of paperwork and getting the "running around" done, while the other one is at work ... I don't exactly have that luxury. I definitely have learned that I have to rely on the support of those around me, something that I have not always known how to do.  God has definitely been utilizing this process to teach me, and I believe mold me, into a new person ... I believe He is molding me into the "Mom" he wants me to be.

This paperwork is going amazingly and things are going smoothly thus far  - praise for that and prayers that they continue to go just as well.

 - My letter requesting to be matched with Sunshine ASAP is quickly translated and accepted by CCCWA.
- That ALL paperwork is completed without error and the homestudy is able to be scheduled soon.
- That funding will be raised quickly and soon to cover all needs.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Tantalizing Trivia

Tonight, my heart is full!! Trivia night @ Lin's Garden was SO much fun!! We had great laughs and great fellowship!! 
We raised another $374 to go into the fund to bring my dear little one home!! So far, we have raised just over $1000!!! This is an amazing start!!!  This weekend I will be paying a $300 application fee and in the coming month or 2, I will also be paying a $3800 program fee.  Every little bit helps!! 

I still have bracelets, necklaces and earrings for sell. These will be returned to ApParent soon if they are not sold, so if you are interested PLEASE get your order in soon!! I would much rather sell these and get money to the families in Haiti than have to send the jewelry back!! 

I am also in the process of setting up some fundraising nights at local restaurants such as Chick-fil-a, Zaxby's and McCallisters. I will be sure to let everyone know when the details on these are finalized!! 

As for the adoption process, things are moving along. I was contacted by the agency this week and they wanted me to write a letter to CCCWA (the part of the Chinese government over orphans) explaining who I was, my background with kiddos with special needs and how I came to know of my little boy. This letter will be read over and edited, probably translated, and then sent over to CCCWA in hopes that I can be matched with my little one earlier than typical. If this happens, then I can request his medical files and information. (This would also mean I could share his name and picture publically!!!) Once I can get his medical files/history and get them translated, I can take them to a doctor/surgeon and hopefully get a letter written in hopes of getting his case medically expedited to get home home sooner rather than later. He definitely needs to have imaging done and hopefully will be a candidate for a reduction cranioplasty to decrease his head size/weight/shape in hopes that this will improve his overall gross motor development - including head/trunk righting, ability to crawl, roll, stand, walk, run, jump, etc. 

I am still diligently working on paperwork and setting up appointments that I need to do in order to get all my paperwork submitted back to the adoption agency. All this paperwork must be completed in order for a homestudy to be able to take place. The home study is where a social worker will come into the home, spend time ensuring that it is safe for a child and interview everyone living in the household. They look at all aspects of life - financial, social, physical, mental, etc. This is a very important thing for the child coming into this home, but can be a very long process. Prayers are that paperwork can be completed quickly and the home study will occur soon, swiftly and correctly. 

HUGE shout out to all the people who helped me get ready and set-up tonight's fun event: Kristine Owen, the Hamm's, Erin Morrell ... you guys are the best and I really appreciate everything you do!!

Prayer Requests:
- That the letter to CCCWA requesting early matching with my dear little one is accepted and that we are matched soon so that this process can be expedited.
- That we all remain healthy and happy throughout the rest of this cold/rainy season
- That Sunshine receives his care package soon that has his neck brace in it, that it fits appropriately and he is able to tolerate it to help hold his head up. 

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Reminders and Requests

I wanted to remind everyone that the first big fundraiser is THIS Saturday!!! 
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Lin's Garden
Cost is $10 per ticket or $18 per couple 
 Does not include food

Also, I could really use everyone's help ... if you could PLEASE share the link to my fundraiser site ( on all your social media sites then it may get picked as a feature fundraiser on YouCaring's home page. This would allow for MANY more people to see and hear my story and hopefully be willing to donate to the cause!!   Please feel free to share my facebook status and twitter status and share with all your friends (and ask them to do the same)!! 

I would also greatly appreciate your prayers that this fundraising effort goes well. 

Since I now have the ok to start this adoption process wholeheartedly, I have a $300 fee due next week and a $2000 fee due next month. Every penny raised will be going directly towards bringing this sweet little guy home.