Love china

Love china

Thursday, December 31, 2015

New Year, Positive Outlook

Goodbye 2015!!

2015 was full of heartache for me ... 2 little friends, my aunt and a family friend from growing up all left this world to be in Heaven. Deep in my heart I know that they are all in a better place, but sometimes it is still hard.

For my Aunt and Family friend it means: no more cancer, no more treatments, surgery, doctors, chemo, and pain. For my little friends it means that they are able to breath without help, eat without tubes, walk, run, laugh, talk, jump and play and no longer experience pain - and for that I am so incredibly thankful. But oh how my heart aches. The first little friend I lost this year was particularly painful, I still miss her greatly - and God has a calming way of reminding me that things will be ok because the little one that I am trying to adopt has a similar name to hers ...  they have the same meaning -that is NOT coincidence! God is working here!!

Hello 2016!!

I fully expect 2016 to run full with the gamut of emotions. I know that this adoption process with not go as quickly as I will want it to (I already want this kiddo in my arms!).  And, as with anything that is worthwhile, I am also sure that it will have its bumps - so I am already preparing myself.

I am currently working on Fundraiser #1 ... a Chinese New Year Dinner and Trivia Night! I will be sure to post all of the details once they get worked out, but it is guaranteed to be a good time!!

I have told many people this, so feel free to ignore this next paragraph if you have heard this ... but I just cannot explain how I just KNOW that this child is "the one". I have been considering adopting/fostering for 4+ years now ... I have looked at all of the children's pictures in the foster care system that are online in both Arkansas and Tennessee as well as several Chinese orphanages .... but when I came across this particular child's picture I just knew, instantly. Yes, they have multiple needs ... but I cannot explain the connection ... it was an instant attraction. I can only explain it the way a Mother explains the instant love of her baby she just gave birth to (although I have no experience with that whatsoever).

SO ... my BIGGEST goal for 2016: Get this Child Home!!! Whatever it takes!!

Praise of the week:
I was browsing the Yard Sale sites on Facebook looking for furniture to fill a nursery/toddler room and was hoping to find a convertible crib/toddler/headboard type piece. I found several, commented on several pieces and got very few comments back as to if they were still available. I started searching further and got all the way back to one that was posted in June/July. Again, I asked if it was available and the lady who posted it answered almost instantly saying that it was ... I began asking more questions so she sent me a personal message. I told her more of my situation and why I was looking for this piece of furniture. I gave her a little info on me, the adoption of a child with special needs and she proceeded to tell me that she has a soft spot in her heart for those who adopt and especially for those who adopt children with special needs. She then made the most amazingly gracious offer and told me that I could have her crib, that it had been packed away for a bit and she didn't even realize that the 'for sale' post was even still up. It was so amazing and truly a God send!! I hope to go pick it up in 2 days!

Prayer Requests:
- That supplies and activities will quickly and easily come together for the first fundraiser - and that there will be great interest!
- That I will continue to keep a level head about things and not get so wrapped up in all the things that need to occur; remembering that everything will happen in God's time.
- That my little Sunshine remain healthy and happy throughout the beginning of this new year!

Saturday, December 26, 2015

A Journey of Excitement

For those that don't know, I have kept this blog and my Facebook posts hidden from my family for the last week as I wanted to be able to tell them in person about my adoption plans. I didn't take into account, however, that people in my hometown would be able to see my first somewhat cryptic Facebook post (and people commenting their guesses about what my big adventure may be).  SO, the first topic brought up when I walked into my parents house was about the adoption.

It is SO funny how God's plan always works out for the best! I really wasn't sure how I was going to bring up this topic to my family. I mean, hello ... I am a single female who works crazy hours - I would completely understand my family "flipping out" thinking I was "crazy" for even thinking that I could handle a child, much less a child with significant special needs. I have been very thankful that most in my family have been very supportive.

Today's Devotion verse was:
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." - Proverbs 4:23

I just can't help but think that God is directly speaking to me through this verse - reminding me to trust in Him. That I need to be strong throughout this process and my life in general, no longer being so sensitive to negativity.

I know that since God has said that this is His will that all will be provided for, but I can't help being worried and anxious about the financial aspect of this great undertaking. This will likely be a $30-45,000 investment. Yes, there will be multiple fundraisers and a site to donate to later as the year progresses ...  I KNOW it will be worth it, and I know there is a tremendously long road ahead of me and my little sunshine.

Currently, I am in a holding pattern to determine which adoption agency would be the best to use for both myself and child/orphanage I have in mind. I so desperately want to share with EVERYONE who this child is and their sweet, sweet face - but I can't until they are officially paired with me. I can tell you, however, that they have multiple needs and I do not yet know the extent of their impairments. None of this matters, though - they had my heart from the first time I laid eyes on their picture!!

As for now I could really use prayers on the following aspects:
~ That an adoption agency will be settled on so this process can get going.
~ That God will give me complete peace over the financial aspects of this entire adventure.
~ That my Sunshine had a fantastic Christmas and remains happy and healthy throughout the winter.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

In the Beginning ...

I haven't been very "strong" in faith for a very long time ... actually, in faithful time, it has been very short. But God has changed my life!

Those who are reading this and know me may know this story, but those who don't ... here it goes!!

I went to China in November 2015 ... and WOW, does God do some AMAZING work there. It really is crazy how OBVIOUS things are there when it comes to God and Evil ... There is some obvious deception by some and then there is complete genuine feelings by others. It is not like that here in the States - there are just so many distractions from what is important.

The last 3-4 days in China I started feeling very ill - dizzy and nauseous ... just couldn't shake it. We thought that maybe it was altitude sickness ... we were pretty high above sea level, but had been there for almost a week so that was probably not it. I did get checked by a doctor and he couldn't find anything wrong. This is when it was thought that maybe the Enemy was knocking on my door ... See, I had been questioning a lot of things around this time and I think he thought I was getting close to a breakthrough, so I needed to be pushed around a bit. A friend from Arkansas suggested that maybe I go see a Christian based therapist to help me figure things out - so I decided that I needed to give it a shot.

We came home from China and I still didn't feel well. I decided to stop taking my daily meds to control migraines ... it worked, the dizziness stopped. I waited another week and started the migraine prevention meds back again and didn't have any problems. I made my appointment with the Christian based therapist - nervously meeting her for the first time - best decision I have ever made in my life.

Our first therapeutic stop was to have a prayer meeting that would be held 2 weeks after our initial meeting - so I waited 2 weeks, trying to remain calm but really not knowing what was going to happen. For those of you who do not know me at all, I did not grow up in a church setting, I have  made multiple attempts to "find my faith" and figure out how God fit into my life, only to fall flat on my face and feel like I was further behind than I was before I started. SO, having said that, I truly had no idea how to pray, what it felt like to be in God's presence or how to know if I was doing His will or not. I had ALWAYS been envious of others who knew in their hearts that God was with them and that they could lean on Him ... if He was with them, was He with me? What was wrong with me that I wasn't able to understand?

I went in for the prayer meeting, chit chatted about what had been going on the last few weeks and then started an "echo" type prayer where just a few lines in I began to feel exactly like I had in China x8. Really?!! I couldn't believe I was feeling like that again. That is when I wholeheartedly knew, any issue that I had, God was bigger. I was led through prayer to ask God to come near me, to be near me, to love me. Love? What in the world is that?? Yes, we say "I love you ..." but I am not honestly sure I actually know the true meaning and feeling of that word. Instantly after asking Jesus if He was near me I received a burning sensation in my chest ... that was my "HELLO, crazy, I'm here!!! " signal, NO, I'm not near you, I'm IN you. I am part of you! Talk about breakthrough moment!

SO, that was 12/16/15 and today is 12/22. It completely rocked my world and my life has been nothing short of AMAZING. I had a couple of rough days, but then God hit me with a COMPLETE life change.

I have been considering adoption/foster care for a VERY long time. God has said, NOW is the time and China is the place - oh, and Special Needs is your calling, so let's add that into the mix! SO ... I am beginning the journey to adopt a special needs child from China ... Eyes wide open, Heart open even wider and God leading the way!